"Honoring Dignity & Leading in Polarization" with David Brubaker
David Brubaker is a Dean at School of Social Sciences and Professions at Eastern Mennonite University, Professor of Sociology, and Author of a new book called When the Center Does Not Hold: Leading in an Age of Polarization
In this conversation we talk about polarization and what happens when conflict reaches its highest levels. When conflict escalates certain things happen, People stop caring about content and information and the conflict turns personal. When this happens people start to believe that who wins or loses the conflict will have profound cosmic consequences, a battle between good and evil. They believe that the only solution will be separation from their enemy or the complete elimination of them.
We talk about the causes of polarization which David distills down to a combination of inequality, a threat to identity and a stated grievance that people can rally around. We recognize that all of those elements are exacerbated by personal and generational Trauma. The sources of our divisions run deep.
We talk about strategies for Living and Leading in times of polarization. The upshot here is Honor your dignity, honor the dignity of others, speak your truth and then work to stay connected.
Finally we talk about How the only way to Transform polarization is to deescalate the conflict. Given lessons from history, It's not pretty to imagine what happens if we don't. David suggests, and I agree, that We might need to take a collective timeout so that we can have a cool down period.
Polarization is a big theme in this season of Fractal Friends and the perspective that David brings in this conversation is grounded, practical, and inspiring
Here is the transcript of our conversation.
David Brubaker Resources
When the Center Does Not Hold: Leading in an Age of Polarization
by David R Brubaker
Cooperative By Design is a consortium of peacebuilding practitioners, each committed to creating a more just and peaceful world by enabling healthier families, societies, organizations, communities and natural world.
The Congregational Consulting Group is a network of independent consultants. They publish weekly thoughts on topics of interest to leaders of congregations and other purpose-driven organizations.
David Brubaker
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Listen to the episode on YouTube. There are subtitles!!!
Other Resources
Here are resources about things that came up in this conversation.
Polarization, Communication & Conflict Transformation
John Paul Lederach
The author of my favorite book on conflict transformation: The Moral Imagination: The Art and Soul of Building Peace. Here is an excellent ”Summary of the Moral Imagination” written by Michelle Maiese at the Conflict Research Consortium.
The four capacities of “the moral imagination” according to Lederach:
Moral imagination requires the capacity to imagine ourselves in a web of relationships, one that includes even our enemies.
It requires the ability to embrace complexity without getting caught up in social schism.
It requires a commitment to the creative act.
It requires an acceptance of the risk that necessarily goes along with attempts to transcend violence.
Levels of Conflict by Speed Leas (Source: The Center for Congregational Health)
The Conflict Curve is a model for assessing the best peacebuilding strategy for different levels of conflict. (Source: United States Institute of Peace)
Speed Leas’ Levels of Conflict
The following description is from the Center for Congregational Health:
Level One: A Problem to Solve - Conflicting goals, values, needs. Problem oriented rather than person oriented.
Level Two: Disagreement - Mixing of personalities and issues, problem cannot be clearly defined. Beginning of distrust and personalizing problem.
Level Three: Contest - Begin the dynamics of “win/lose.” Personal attacks. Formation of factions, sides, camps. Distortion a major problem.
Level Four: Fight/Flight - Shifts from winning to getting rid of person(s). Factions are solidified. Talk now takes on the language of “principles,” not “issues.”
Level Five: Intractable Situations - No longer clear understanding of issue(s); personalities have become the focus. Conflict is now unmanageable. Energy is centered on the elimination and/or destruction of the person(s).
The simplest way to manage conflict is to keep differences of opinion at Level One or to move them down to that level so everyone understands and agrees that “we have a problem to solve.” Write the problems out together as a “Workable Problem Statement” which should:
be free of blame
be specific and descriptive
not focus on the distant past
not be a “put down” of any involved parties
be agreed to by all involved as a definition of this problem
How to Fix Our Broken Political Conversations | Robb Willer | TEDxMarin: Compelling new research on language offers a response to political polarization.
Arnold Schwarzenegger shares his views on how the dialogue surrounding climate change needs to change.
Books and Authors from the Episode
Essential Partners
Essential Partners “believes that every community has the power to improve the way it approaches differences of values, views, and identities. For more than three decades, EP has helped civic groups, faith communities, colleges, and workplaces foster resilience, cohesion, understanding, and trust.” Essential Partners has an amazing Resource Library which includes these lists of sample questions, like the one David and I discuss in the episode.
List of Universal Human Needs
Howard Zehr: Zehr Institute for Restorative Justice
Donna Hicks: Leading with Dignity: How to Create a Culture That Brings Out the Best in People
Gottman Institute: A research-based approach to relationships
“The Second Coming” by William Butler Yeats
Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
Articles and Videos by Duncan Autrey Discussed in this Episode
“What’s the Problem with the world?” Duncan Autrey
“Course Correction 2020” Duncan Autrey.
A video that about how we can use this time when we are deeply focused on the challenges to make a collective course correction for humanity.
Trauma Healing Resources
STAR: Strategies for Trauma Awareness & Resilience
From the Center for Justice and Peacebuilding at Eastern Mennonite University is a framework that integrates material from: trauma and resilience studies; restorative justice; conflict transformation; human security and spirituality.
Cycles of Violence (Source: Center for Justice and Peacebuilding at Eastern Mennonite University)
Breaking the Cycle of Violence/Harm (aka: The “Snail Model”) (Source: Center for Justice and Peacebuilding at Eastern Mennonite University)
Resmaa Menakem
Author of My Grandmother’s Hands: The first self-discovery book to examine white body supremacy in America from the perspective of trauma and body-centered psychology.
His talks on the On Being with Krista Tippett are a powerful introduction to the relationship of trauma and race.
Thrive East Bay
Thrive East Bay. Thrive is a “new kind of community offering a relevant space for diverse people seeking meaning and connection in our rapidly changing world. Informed by modern science and ancient wisdom, our culture is both secular and spiritual, infused with a deep sense of purpose and interconnectedness, inspired by the arts, and focused on social change.”
Here is a collection of Fractal Friends episodes with guests that are related to Thrive East Bay.
History of Polarization
Choosing Party over values
Historical Polarization in the United States
This segment from the On The Media podcast “Lessons From the Contentious Election of 1876” does a great job of explaining how scary the polarization in the United States was around the Civil War.
The Story of Us by Tim Urban is a deep exploration about the divisions in our culture. I highly recommend reading it. Here are two chapters.
Here’s a piece that I wrote inspired by Tim Urban’s piece "‘The Story of Us’ and Finding the Root of The Problem”
This graphic is from Chapter 9 of The Story of Us: Political Disney World
The media may not be the source of polarization in the Unites States, but as this screen shot captured by past guest Kazu Haga shows, they sure do a lot to exacerbate the divisions.
Related Fractal Friends episodes:
Race & History (Collection of Fractal Friends episodes about Race, Diversity & Anti-Oppression)
“Rediscovering & Healing Our Ancestors” with Lyla June
"Understanding our Shared Liberation" with David Dean
"Talking about Racism: Unmasking the Elephant in the Room" with Ann-Ellice Parker
Politics and Polarization (Collection of Fractal Friends episodes about: Transforming Politics and Democracy)
"Relating Deeply and Facing Reality" with Ashok Panikkar
"Transcending Political Polarization" with Steve McIntosh
"Evolving Democracy with Cultural Intelligence" with Steve McIntosh
"The Emergence of Wise Democracy" with Tom Atlee
"Transforming Conflict and Co-Creating the Future of Democracy" with Kenneth Cloke
Music
The music featured in this episode is “Birds of the Night” by Jen Myzel.
Check out Jen at her website www.jenmyzel.net.
I highly recommend getting a hold of Jen’s sing-a-long book Yellow Lotus Flower.
Jen Myzel